Those We Leave Behind
by TheSleepyNinja15
Summary: A conversation that occurred between Nunnally and C.C. while Lelouch was still unconscious. A Re;surrection fic.


It was always her footsteps that announced her presence first – soft, silent, almost feathery and cat-like that if one didn't listen carefully, they would be completely surprised by her sudden appearance. Then it would be followed by a gentle touch on her shoulder, always by her fingertips and never her palm as if she's testing waters, as if she's wary of full contact with another person. Sometimes, when she was in a better mood, she would tap Nunnally's shoulder in a beat only audible to her but always, her fingertips would lay for just a few seconds on her shoulder and would be completely removed once she caught the girl's attention. The way she pulled the chair in their living room back in Ashford Academy that it made just a little scraping sound.

Nunnally had felt her skin. She did when she was trying to teach her to make origami and it was soft and cold at the same time. Her fingers were slender and long, her nails cleanly trimmed.

She smelled like sunflowers at first. Nunnally couldn't help but reminisce her days back in the Kururugi Shrine everytime she was near. Sometimes, she smelled like oranges, too. But as days went by, her scent gradually turned into something cheesy, something more pizza-ish which coincidentally matched with the scent of her brother's room before. But she didn't think much about it that time. It was just normal for _her_ to stay in Lelouch's room all the time, after all, she was his girlfriend. Or that was what Nunnally thought before. That's what _she _made her believe.

Her hair was long, it was another thing that she was certain about. There were moments that it brushed against her arms and Nunnally would think of silk. Once, she asked Sayoko what color her hair was and when the latter said green, Nunnally then thought of the grass in the meadow.

She had created an image of _her_ in her head. One that was based on her limited senses and impressions and she came up with a girl that looked like a fairy without wings – light on her feet, gentle with her hands, with leaves as her hair.

And who would have thought that she was not so far from the truth. Who would have thought that she was almost right in her imagination but still… still seeing her for the first time tugs something inside of her, something in between anger and gratitude.

Nunnally didn't expect her height. She didn't expect for her to be only a few inches taller than her, to appear so delicate like a porcelain doll. But then she remembered Sayoko's words before.

"_Well, if I will compare her to something, it would be a doll. She looks like a doll, Miss Nunnally."_

Her hair is green but it is lighter than what she had imagined. It's the color of a new leaf in the spring, a new bud waiting to bloom. But what completely caught her off guard are her amber eyes.

No one told her how bright they glimmer, she never imagined for them to be like gold in the mine. Those pool of sunsets, so mesmerizing and mysterious, are avoiding her gaze now.

"I finally have the chance to see your face, C.C."

Those eyes finally look up to meet hers and in that angle, with C.C.'s face fully seen, Nunnally can't help but trace each feature, each dip and curve with her gaze. This… This was the face that accompanied her when Lelouch was away. This was the face who Nunnally had shared stories with, who she had talked about her brother's quirks and worries with, who she had considered as a good friend, a good family once.

But here, here is the face who was with Lelouch during his rebellion, who encouraged his destructive ideas, tolerated his cruel plans and supported their merciless execution. Here is the face who had watched his brother become a killer and didn't stop him from destroying himself. Here is the face who let Lelouch burn in the fire of his own created Hell and added fuel to that fire.

Here is the face of the devil.

"I never saw you when I was Lelouch's prisoner. Did you do it on purpose?" she asks. When she receives no answer, Nunnally continues, "Did you hide because you wanted to run away from your sins? Because you were remorseful of the lies you had told me?"

Silence.

Grabbing the armrest of her wheelchair, she presses a button to wheel herself towards the still wordless C.C. "Why did you let him do those acts of evil? Why didn't you stop him from killing people? You turned him into a murderer, a monster, how could you?" She stops just a few feet away from where the other girl was standing. C.C. looks beyond her, at the unconscious body of Lelouch lying on the bed whose soul's still left in C's world - who they are wating to wake up.

"We had a contract," C.C. simply answers.

Ah, her voice. Her ever calm and soothing voice. Nunnally can never forget the way C.C. talked. There is something in her unhurried tone that made Nunnally easily relaxed in her presence. During the very first time that she showed up in their room, it was C.C.'s tonality that quickly convinced her that she was telling the truth. She answered Nunnally's questions briefly, didn't offer any further explanations yet the finality in her unwavering voice made up for her lack of defense in her words.

C.C. spoke as if words cost a living, as if her short sentences were blankets hiding more words, more meaning that she didn't want you to find out, or she intentionally wanted you to misinterpret. That's exactly how Nunnally assumed that she was Lelouch's fiancé before.

And it looks like she doesn't change at all.

"A contract? Was that more important than the wellbeing of my brother? How heartless can you be to stay by his side and watch him destroy himself?" Her voice breaks as the tension in her nerves shakes her small body. "If it wasn't for you," Nunnally whispers, "He wouldn't have died in the first place. You stole my brother from me."

"I liked you a lot. You were such a good girl."

The answer is too far from what she is expecting that Nunnally is caught off guard for a moment.

"Someone who was too pure and gentle in this cruel world. No wonder why Lelouch would do anything for you. You _are_ his light."

C.C. puts her hands behind her back and turns her head towards the open window - the early sun rays hitting her eyes that they seem like the actual sun.

"If you have a thousand paper cranes to fold to make your wish come true, then he has his geass as his own origami which he's willing to use for a thousand times to make your wish of a gentle world come true. Indeed, you are brother and sister."

"C.C. why...?"

"I liked doing origami with you, Nunnally. It will be one of those precious times that I shall always return to. But unfortunately, a paper crane is not enough to fulfill my wish."

"Is that why you used him?"

"Yes."

"Did you use me, too?"

One would deem it impossible but Nunnally watches as C.C. uses the sunrise as her own shroud to hide her emotions. Those golden eyes perfectly blend with the sunlight creating a halo of yellow and orange illuminating anything within its reach.

And C.C.'s silence only verbalizes her unspoken answer.

Heartbroken, Nunnally looks down on her lap as she tries to stop the tears from falling. Her trembling hands grip her skirt so tightly. "I treated you as a friend. I admired you. I trusted you. I thought you were good for my brother because you brought out the sides of him that he didn't show often."

"I'm sorry."

"I wish..." Without any warning, she grabs C.C.'s hand taking the girl by surprise. A small gasp escapes from the latter's lips as Nunnally feels her skin against hers.

It is colder than the last time she held it. Colder, and is that a little tremble that she's sensing?

Remorse, fear, regret, longing.

She looks up with watery eyes as she recognizes the truth the same way as she did during Zero Requiem. And under the new light, she sees the girl who had been with Lelouch throughout the whole time. Not as the one who supported his evil actions and led him to cold-blooded victories, but as the one who had been with him when he had no one to turn to. The girl who was his shoulders to lean on when the responsible of being a leader took a toll on him. The girl who comforted him when the blood on his name didn't only taint his hands but also his heart and conscience.

The girl who didn't leave his side when everyone else did.

Including Nunnally.

C.C. tries to take her hand back but Nunnally holds tighter.

"Why... Why did you bring him back?" she asks desperately.

"I'm..." Once again, C.C.'s eyes find Lelouch and in that moment, she appears lost and alone. "... just trying to return what I've stolen."

A half-truth, a half-lie.

This time, C.C. pulls her hand with more force than before and successfully retrieves it from Nunnally's now limp grip. Taking several steps back, C.C. plasters a forced smile on her lips that never reaches her eyes.

"It's nice to see you again, Nunnally. Be well and happy." Then, she turns around and heads towards the doorway, still with those silent footsteps.

"Wait! Aren't you going to wait for him to wake up?"

C.C. stops and looks over her shoulder. "It's not my face that he will want to see first when he open his eyes."

"But - "

"Goodbye, Nunnally."

"C.C., wait!" She presses the button and directs her chair towards the leaving maiden. Fortunately, C.C. halts by the doorway and waits for her. "Thank you."

Those golden eyes widen.

"Thank you very much, C.C." _For everything you've done despite you're afraid to admit it_. "You were my friend and forever will be."

C.C. looks down, bites her lips, and when she manages to compose herself, meets Nunnally's gaze again. "See? You're such a good girl."

And she leaves.

With her long green hair swaying behind her.

With feathery steps that carry her on the sand.

With her coldness still lingering on Nunnally's fingertips.

And Nunnally thinks that this may be the first and last time she will ever see her face.

And she thinks that she will never ever be able to forget such a sad, broken face.


End file.
